Nineteen

Oh man. Oh boy. Oh dear. Goodness gracious!

One.

Nine.

19.

It's a weird thing.

Sometimes it's really hard.

I'm at a point in life where I have to make a bunch of big decisions while simultaneously learning who I am.

Those are two massive tasks... and to do them at the same time is something else.

It's incredible, it's lonely, and it's beautiful.

It's like I'm a kid in an adults body.

I'm expected to hold myself together even though sometimes I just want my mamma.

19 is wanting to grow up fast and at the same time wishing it wouldn't happen.

It's being scared I'll never fall in love and finding out my biggest fear is that I will.

It's feeling like the whole world is mine for the taking if I will just reach up and grab it.

But, 19 is also being nervous and not knowing if I can really do all that I'm meant to.

It's being insecure and awkward and messing up.

But it's also being confident and throwing all caution to the wind and having hope.

19 is finally coming to terms with the fact that God has a plan for me and He expects me to be responsible and do my part in making those things happen.

  I can't just hide in the background and hope to go unnoticed anymore.

I have to come forward and take my place and spread light and happiness.

19 is a year of growth, discovery, and struggle.

It's finding out that my heart has a lot of love in it that I wish I could give away but it gets rejected.

It's about learning to continue loving others who may never love me back.

19 is dealing with demons and learning to let go of past hurts and forgive.

and knowing that if I don't forgive the past will also become my future.

19 is for dreaming big and hugging friends tight.

It is a time to inspire others to try new things and care about others.

It is tears and laughter,

hardships and light-heartedness.

19 is mistakes and lessons.

It's finding love and not knowing it until it's gone.

It is making friends and putting myself out there.

19 is learning how to love and accept myself.

It is exploring and experiences.

19 is a lot of things and most importantly it is a gift.



Let me know what it means to be whatever age you are in the comments :)

Who Are You?

My roommate from last semester, Hannah Carson, is leaving on her mission February 6.

This weekend Kenzie and I traveled up north to wish her a happy year and a half.

We arrived on Saturday afternoon in good spirits.

We reunited with Hannah and talked and laughed for endless hours.

We even watched a movie and let Hannah pick it! *GASP*

We had a lovely time.

When sleepy time rolled around Kenz and I had to share the futon in the sewing room.

All was well until around 12:00 pm when all of a sudden I felt really really scared.

I shot up and grabbed Kenzie's shoulder and started shaking her and then I yelled "Who are you?"

She thought it was a funny joke so she just laughed and then I yelled "Seriously, who are you?"

She replied "I'm McKenzie!"

I kinda woke up at this point and told her I was sorry and I was just really confused and we joked about it for a minute but I was still slightly asleep so I don't really remember what was said after that.

When morning broke and the rooster crowed (figuratively) we were wide awake and I asked Kenz if I did anything weird during the night.

She re accounted the story to me and I laughed my head off.

For some reason whenever I sleep talk I always ask Kenzie who she is.

Missing You

Elder Chase Driggs I miss you!

I miss splashing around in puddles, 

defeating Princess Peach in Mario Party 2 on Nintendo 64, 

disco dancing in parking lots, 

sampling perfume at the mall, 

listening to you play the piano, 

throwing tumble weeds out the window of a moving vehicle, 

riding my tricycle/unicycle around the neighborhood, 

calling you on the phone to talk about nothing at all, 

laughing until we'd cry, 

joking about someday living in an Asian garden, 

buying incense, 

doing physics homework (bowling balls are heavy), 

text mix up's (I have to drop poo), 

late night talks when you would share your testimony with me when I felt like the whole world was crashing down, 

goofing off in physics class, 

rolling down the isles at choir concerts,

 arguing about who gets to eat the banana runt candy, 

walking around the school smashed into the same hoody, 

your book of mormon stories, 

shoveling snow, 

learning how to juggle, 

being obnoxious at school plays, 

going running (yeah that lasted seconds), 

eating hamburgers at that one place that went out of business, 

hanging out at football games,

eating our vitamins,

... and so much more.

11 more months and the shenanigans will resume!

Until then, stay cool best friend!

Utah Logic

I know people have been posting weather updates every two seconds on Facebook the past few days...

BUT on the off chance you haven't heard... It's freezing!

Californians are calling it an Arctic blast!

Ok, it's not THAT bad, but it is nose numbing.

I woke up this morning feelin' like P Diddy, popped my waffle in the toaster and out the door I went.

I slipped on a deadly patch of ice, almost fell on my butt and lost my breakfast.

While I was "hot potatoing " my waffle and sliding all over the place I managed to catch my balance,

success was mine, butt and waffle were saved!

Now I know that this might sound like a great start to a fab day.... but just you wait.

I started scrapping frost off my windshield and I looked over and there was a crazy man a few cars over scraping his windshield in a T-shirt!

I had a nice little chuckle to myself before I called out

"Hey Jordan, why aren't you wearing a jacket?"

His response was "because it's 25 degrees today and it has been -17 so that means it's like 50 degrees, it's so warm!"

What a good laugh that gave me... only in Utah!

A few other perks to my day: I visited my old friends in the tutoring lab.

I miss that place!

I think I am going to make and take them cookies sometime in the near future.

And #2 the missionaries knocked on my door and missionaries are just great, so that was cool!

Happy Wednesday to you all :)

The Happy Bug

I must have caught the happy bug or something cause the past few days have been marvelous!

Not only did I watch all the Harry Potter movies, but I started reading the books at well.

Congrats to me!

I know I'm like a decade behind but better late than never I always say!

Second, work was awesome today, I got to play dodge ball.

Mind you I was the worst one at it, darn kids kept getting me out first every time.

Never the less it was a ton of fun.

Working at a day care has it's perks!

Third, I love the song "22" by Taylor Swift, it's def my new jam.

Um... forth is kind of embarrassing but I'm still laughing about it so I might as well spill.

So for the record my brothers friends basically live at my house and they are my brothers from other mothers, ok? Ok.

Glad we got that out of the way.

One of them is named Matt...

So Brett comes home and pours himself a glass of sparkling cider (kind of a staple for my family during the holidays)

I was preoccupied playing a board game with Nate when I heard Matt say "congratulations Nate!"

I didn't look up but followed the ritual of insulting Matt by saying "why is that strange boy congratulating you Nate?"

It was quiet for awhile but I didn't suspect anything and I finish up my turn.

When I finally look up I didn't see Matt but instead a boy I'd never seen before.

I was so embarrassed and I said "I'm so sorry I thought you were Matt"

and he just stared at me and said "I'm not strange!"

I should look at people before I insult them, lesson learned ;)

Oh man I'm still snickering about it...