Beyond Blessed

I opened my mission call on the shore of Lake Michigan in Chicago Illinois. My family was there for my sisters graduation and I couldn't wait until I got home to open it. So my brother Brett, who flew in just in time for the graduation, brought it with him. I wasn't home so I couldn't go on a walk by myself after I opened my call and just think about the next eighteen months of my life and have a mini break down. ( I was so overwhelmed) So I held it together until we got back to the condo late that night. I hid in the bathroom and cried. I had to make it a quick cry because I didn't want anyone to know. And there I silently prayed "God why do you want me to go on a mission? I'm sorry that I'm not jumping for joy. Please help me to love the people of the Minnesota Minneapolis Mission. Please change my heart. Please change me."

Here I am about 50 days later a completely changed person. As I'm writing this I can see Gods hand in my life and He heard me, the scared little girl hiding in the bathroom and He has defiantly  strengthened me. It didn't come all at once. It was a process of faith and miracles.

I went from wondering why me, to feeling incredibly blessed that God is ALLOWING me to do this. Oh how blessed I am that He trusts me enough to send me to His children that He loves so much and that He will strengthen me and give me the words to say if I faithfully prepare without faint.

As I have prepared and read my scriptures and prayed with all my being I have felt my Heavenly Father. I have made goals and have been doing my best to develop Christ like attributes and I have never been happier. It's not easy and the mission field isn't going to be any easier, but I can truly say I look forward to every challenge with excitement and hope. My God loves me and He will always be near me as I am worthy!

I don't report to the MTC until August 7th but I can't already say my mission has blessed my life beyond anything I could have ever imagined. It was a difficult choice to serve and a long path for me to travel (I wanted to go to school in Nashville) but I would do it all again. My heart has changed and it has grown to fit so much love in it. 

I feel so blessed that I have had this opportunity set before me and I've promised myself that I will not waste a single day of my mission wanting to go home or wishing it was easier (or warmer ;) I will wake up smiling and be happy everyday, because I have the best message in the world. This includes my pre mission time. So far I have been improving day by day and I know The Lord will bless me as I have righteous goals. I hope that as people feel prompted to serve that they do! I understand the hardship of giving up a dream that is so close. But I promise nothing of this world will ever feel as good and the things of God. And if we serve our missions faithfully He will bless us after the mission with the things we need. And this I have unwavering faith in.