It's Where My Demons Hide

The Imagine Dragons song "Demons" is all to real.

It's a song that everyone can relate to on some level whether or not they choose to admit it.

"Don't get too close, it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide"

We all have them and I think the best way to defeat them is to face them

...

I walk past the mirror and I lock eyes with my reflection.

Try as I might I can't look away.

Not until I can see myself correctly, for who I really am and not for what I've done or what's been done to me.

I can't look away.

I'm searching my soul, trying to believe that I'm more than I feel I am in this moment.

The longer I stare the more frustrated I become, because I can't see it, I can't see my soul.

I can't see the good I so long to see.

I want to shout and yell and my reflection "WHO ARE YOU?"

I want to cry but I'm stone faced.

Then all my fears and insecurities come out.

There is a little girl inside me who is scared and lonely.

She didn't grow up like most little girls do.

She was forced into maturity due to situations that were beyond her control.

I should thank her for being so strong, for making it out with the glimmer of faith that she did.

I should thank her for being strong enough to get me to where I'm at today; blossoming into a wonderful woman.

But I don't want to thank her, I want to yell at her.

Why must her past haunt me and make me believe I'm not worth it.

Why can't she believe that I deserve to be loved without conditions.

As I stare I fear all I will ever be is a disappointment.

I'm scared that if someone loves me they will only learn to hate me.

I worry that I will never be able to live up to the expectations I've set for myself and I will fail.

I vow that I will never let someone get close enough to see this side of me, I will never allow someone to love a soul so unworthy as I.

But I can't give up.

I never give up, it's not who I am.

I fought for the light through the dark ages of my life.

Why would I give up now, after I KNOW what it's like to be bathed in the light of Christ's love.

I don't share this to hurt anyone or to gain pity.

I share this because there IS hope.

A perfect brightness of hope in Christ the Savior and Redeemer of the world.

We don't have to sit in the darkness.

We can flick the light switch.

We are not defined by the way we've been treated or what we've been told about ourselves or what we have done wrong in our lives.

We are defined by Christ's view of us, and He loves us even when we are in the darkest pit.

He sees our potential and He knows there is light and goodness in us that is beyond our comprehension.

If we only trust Him, He will lead us to the light, He will wrap us in His arms of encompassing love.

We have to believe that we deserve light, we have to let it in us.

The only way to spread it is to be it.

So if you can't believe that you deserve the light for yourself, let it in you so you can give it to others, and in time you will come to know the love your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for you.

Don't sit in the darkness any more.

It's ok to feel a little scared, but let your faith be brighter than your fear.

Believe and it shall be given unto you.

Hope on.