By the time I'm 25

All of the below will be crossed off :)

Bucket lists are great and all but I needed to make some time bound goals

So here it goes...

Emotional and Spiritual Health

Go to counseling

Identify my fears and overcome them

Learn to be comfortable talking to adults and asking for what I need

Get closer to God

Take a family name to the temple

Fulfill callings and visit teaching assignments

Chase My Dreams

Apply for my dream school aka Belmont

Move to Nashville

Write a song with someone in Nashville and have it performed at the Bluebird Cafe

Get an internship at a record label or a producing company

Get a job I enjoy/love

Be able to play a song on the guitar and piano

Get something published

Live in the moment and laugh daily

  

Have Adventures

Go to Cedar Point roller-coaster park in Ohio

See a Garths Brooks concert (completely dependent on him)

Take a hot air balloon ride

Go skydiving

Climb a V5 bouldering route

Take a trip to Vegas with a friend and see Penn and Teller

Spend New Years Eve in New York

Go on a church history tour in New York

Go to the festival of colors

Zipline in Tennessee

Visit Graceland

Go the Grand Ol' Opry

Visit the Country Music Hall of Fame

Relationships

Take a relationship slow

Don't be afraid to fall in love and/or walk away from relationships that aren't good for me

Only be in relationships that are great and not just good

Tell someone I love them and mean it

Stay good friends with Rachael, Kenzie, and Hannah

Serve Others

Be a mentor

Find a mentor

Be a camp counselor

Education

Get my associates degree

Finish my 4-year business degree

Miscellaneous

Get laser hair removal

Watch the Superbowl

Paint a canvas

Have no debt

Decorate an apartment

Be a bridesmaid

Invest in something (iPhone)

Shoot a gun

Through the Storm and Into His Peace

The first time I thought about starting a blog was the summer of 2010.

Which also happens to be one of the hardest times in my life.

I wanted to write about my struggles in hopes of helping other people going through similar struggles.

I thought that even if I couldn't necessary brighten my own life maybe I could be a light in someone else's.

I sit down to write tonight with that same prayer in my heart.

I hope that I can write something that will help someone hold on and press forward with faith.

These past few months have been a tremendous trial in my life.

I have found myself on my knees and literally begging my Heavenly Father for peace, comfort, and direction.

I've tried to keep my faith strong and my actions diligent.

It has been somewhat exhausting at times,

But these struggles have not been in vain, I have learned a lot.

I know God answers prayers.

It may take weeks, it may take months, or even years BUT he WILL answer.

He gives us knowledge as it becomes needful that we know it.

He has perfect timing and a perfect plan.

At times it may feel like you're wondering in the dark with no direction but when the time comes God will turn the light switch on and you will be able to see that you were on the right path all along.

The key to staying on that path is prayer and righteousness.

I feel like I'm still wondering on my path right now, but I have faith that when the time is right God will speak peace and understanding to my soul and I will know that He knew all along what He was doing even if I did not.

I have also come to seriously think about the intentions and true feelings of my heart.

I've noticed that sometimes I want to do the right thing but for the wrong reason.

I spent one night praying for a very long time because I told myself I wouldn't stop praying until all the intentions in my heart were righteous.

I would get to a point and I'd be like ok I can stop praying I think my heart is in the right place, and then an unwanted thought would slip back into my mind and I would have to start praying again.

That was a really cool experience for me because I was really able to concentrate on aligning my will to God's and accepting His will and truly being humble and allowing God's love to fill my soul.

There is something really cool about God's love, when you let it in you there is no room to have negative thoughts about anyone or anything.

When you let God's love fill your heart and mind you long to pray for your enemies and beg God to bless the people that despitefully use you.

You're heart changes and you no longer desire to find reasons to be angry, but you allow forgiveness to take over and a genuine happiness and peace come into your life.

(Matt 5:44)

God's love is a miracle.

I've found that the only way to feel true peace is to forgive.

Forgiving is letting go of your hurts and praying for the people that have hurt you.

Some situations are hard because you can forgive someone but even though you have forgiven them they can't necessarily be a part of your life.

I have had many people open up to me in my day and I've heard many life stories that include heart ache and abuse of all kinds.

Sometimes people feel like they can not forgive because forgiving means letting someone continue to abuse them.

The thing is, you can forgive your abuser without letting yourself be vulnerable to them.

You don't have to let them be in your life.

Maybe someday they will change and they will be ready to be a positive force in your life, but other times they are not capable of being a healthy part of your life at the stage of life they're in.

Forgiveness is praying for those people and truly hoping that someday they will find truth, happiness, and the gift of repentance.

Another thing I have learned is my great worth in the sight of God.

He truly does love and a desire the best for me.

I deserve respect.

I pray that every girl knows her worth to God and NEVER lets a guy treat her less than she deserves.

God counts every tear that His daughters cry and holds the people that caused them accountable.

It grieves God to see His daughters hearts broken.

God is aware of you and your struggles.

He will consecrate them for your good if you allow Him to.
Let Him in, let His love fill your soul.

Have faith, have hope, and carry on.

Rambles of an Interesting Week

What do you get when you mix a Neanderthal and a recluse?

You get Tamra Smith on February 8, 2013!

Big sorry to all the people who were affected by my social awkward-idity today.

 On a lighter note; Cedar had three earthquakes yesterday!

Three whole earthquakes!

And guess how many of them I felt?

A big fat zero!

This makes me feel very sad inside.

The ground was a-rumbling and a-grumbling and I didn't even know.

I've been through a few earthquakes in my day, yet I've never experienced one.

So maybe someone could secretly shake my bed and make the pictures on my wall rattle one night, and then I would know what an earthquake feels like, and I think that would probably make me feel very happy!

It's incredibly easy to please me.

Just fake a natural disaster and I'm good, I don't ask for too much ;)

I made a huge leap in my growing up process last week!

I "watched" the Super Bowl for the first time in my life.

Does anyone really watch it, or just the commercials?

Any who, that was pretty cool for me.

I got to drink Mt. Dew and eat seven layer dip all while making hilarious football jokes.

Two super random facts:

1. I don't drink soda. Ever. I don't crave it therefore I see no reason to consume it. Well here's the deal breaker, my Economics teacher drinks Mt. Dew every time he lectures and it just looks SO yummy. I've literally been thinking about Mr. Dew nonstop ever since the semester started and I was incredibly happy to drink the bubbly delightful-ness while acting like a true American!

2.You know how the power went out during the Super Bowl? Well I guess when I fell asleep that night I was thinking about big sport events and odd mishaps occurring, and I dreamed that I was at the NBA finals and the basketball turned into a water balloon and then a huge water balloon fight broke out. How's that for weird?

I adopted a grandpa on Thursday.

You see, I go running on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and I always see this old man walking.

Last Thursday I had a feeling that I should talk to him, I told myself I'd run two more laps and then I'd say hello.

I finished the second lap and I looked around and he had left.

I told myself I'd talk to him on Tuesday.

I got there and again I thought to myself I'll get my running out of the way and then I'll say hello.

It's funny how if you don't act on a prompting right when you get it you lose your opportunity.

Again he left before I got the chance to say anything.

When I got to the track on the following Thursday I was determined to talk to him first thing.

I said good morning and we started talking.

I found out that he started walking after he had a few heart attacks, he's trying to keep his heart as healthy as possible.

I don't know why I was prompted to talk to him, I don't know if he has family in Cedar or not.

But I do know that I was happy after I talked to him and I hope I can somehow bless his life.

I also adopted a 6th grader.

I'm in a mentoring group called 4-H.

I've been involved in it for three weeks and it has already blessed my life loads.

There is a girl there named Kelsie and I help her with her math homework, which I love, and then we get to cook/bake when homework is done :)

This week we made soft pretzels!

I love the kids that go there and again I hope that somehow I can bless their lives as much as they bless mine!

Kenz and I bought a bunch of wood on Thursday.

It was a pretty funny experience for us.

Kenzie is on the multi-stake activities committee and she has to make the carnival games for the upcoming valentines dance.

And that is why we bought a bunch of wood.

We did not think about transporting this wood back to our place of residency, which ended up being a real issue for us.

So we called our hometeacher!

Yay for hometeachers with trucks!

Kenz and I always have the most fun adventures!

Speaking of adventures!

I almost forgot about the great cookie monstrosity!

This week for FHE we played Iron Chef: Nasty Cookies Edition.

We were not allowed to follow a recipe, and we had no milk.

Our secret ingredient was mint flavored life savors, which in the end made it wreak like pepto bismol!

It didn't help that Kenz added at least half a cup of vanilla extract.

Hahahahah oh boy!

These cookies were so gross, I'm telling ya!

We were busy mixing these little nasties together while someone found us a baking sheet... FROM FREAKING GIANT LAND or something!

We thought nothing of it and plopped our good for nothing cookies onto the sheet.

We went to put them in the oven just to discover there was no way on this green Earth that the pan was going to fit!

Then someone came up with the genius idea of taking out all the cooking racks and putting the cookie sheet in at an angle.

Which totally worked.

Until the cookies started sliding to their death.

At this point we scooped the goolosh into a turkey dripping pan and cooked the little buggers that way.

What a good time we had!